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A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she could say a word, Bob says "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel that you have on." After thinking for a few moments, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. Bob stares then hands her $800 and leaves. Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she says. "Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
MORAL OF THE STORY: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
A sales representative, an administrative clerk, and the Manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a large puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually grant three wishes, so I will give each of you just one." "Me first, please, me first!" says the administrative clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world!" And POOF, she's gone. In astonishment, "Me next, me next!" says the sales representative. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, and endless supply of pina coladas, and the love of my life." And POOF, he's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the Manager. "No problem," the Manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
MORAL OF THE STORY: Always let your boss have the first say.
A crow was sitting in a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not!" So the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow and rested. All of a suddon a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
MORAL OF THE STORY: To appear to be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up!
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would live to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at the lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch of the tree. After several more days of eating dung each day, he finally reached the top of the tree. Soon, he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Bullship might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
In Africa, every morning a gazelle awakens, knowing that it must outrun the fastest lion if it wants to stay alive. Every morning, a lion wakes up knowing that it must run faster than the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death.
MORAL OF THE STORY: It makes no difference whether you are a gazelle or a lion, when the sun comes up, you better be moving fast.

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